Pain travels through families
Until someone is ready to feel it
Clearing a New Path podcast and newsletter are aimed at building a more united, feminist, anti-oppressive rural (so-called) Canada.
As of today, there are still 28 drinking water advisories in First Nation communities in so-called Canada.
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In this newsletter:
Pain travels through families until someone is ready to feel it
Journalism is a construct - Part 2 - The case of Indigenous journalist Brandi Morin
More mainstream media layoffs - What does it mean to rural Canada?
Rural news roundup
Recommendations - Black History Month
Pain travels through families until someone is ready to feel it
(The following is how I remember things. Anyone else in my family may have remembered it differently. We all experience things in our own unique way.)
(That’s me on the right and my brother on the far left. I think my dad was taking the picture. My mom is behind me. And yes, very inappropriate party hats. I was 5.)
I’m sharing this because when we live in rural and remote communities, geography can separate us, but silence often does too.
My dad’s side of the family is planning a family reunion next month. Dad has 7 brothers and sisters. My Aunt J wants me to come. I’ve been avoiding her and the thought of going actually make me angry. I’ve been sitting in why that is.
When my parents split when I was 14, all of those siblings took my dad’s ‘side’, and my mom got custody of my two younger brothers and me. The Raes didn’t really like my mom before, but they sure didn’t make any effort to keep we kids in the family after they split.
I had to dig deep and think about why even the ask to attend a reunion makes me resentful and angry.
I think I’ve come to realize that I’m angry that no one talked to us about what was happening. I’m angry that Aunt J worked at the Children’s Aid Society and didn’t know what was happening to we kids. No one asked us if we were okay.
And I guess the thing that makes me the most angry, is that I’m just supposed to forget about all the things unspoken.
Dear Aunt J,
I remember thinking about you as a child and wondering why everything had to be so clean? Our house never looked like yours.
I remember my mom saying to us that she didn’t think that you liked her. Was that true?
I remember your son (cousin L) coming to our house and destroying our toys and blaming my brothers and I. You thought he could do no wrong, at least that was what 5 year old me thought.
I remember you writing me that letter when I worked at the radio station (and you sent it to the actual station), telling me about your memories of grandpa working at a radio station too. You said you might not have been the best aunt and you were extending an olive branch, but only once you thought I was what you deemed ‘successful’ or maybe had my s$%t together. Nothing could be farther from the truth.
When you and dad and all your siblings released a book about your childhood, I guess I expected there to be trauma and hardship, and I got really encouraged that the silence would be broken, but it seems like you all took a positive spin on what must have been a chaotic and extremely unstable upbringing. At least that would explain some stuff.
So I’m letting you know about a few things you might now know happened when we were kids, things that remained secret and that we kids had to hold on to, at least I held on to it.
When Dad and Mom split when I was 14, I loathed myself and blamed myself. No one told us why it was happening so I figured I did something.
As a teenager, I started drinking heavily on the weekends to cope with the silence (and booze was familiar.)
Dad asked me to babysit his new girlfriend’s kids and when I said no, he refused to see me (but he would see my brothers). I was 15.
When we had visitation with Dad, he made us deliver love letters to Mom when we came home.
When Mom started dating someone new, and he answered Mom’s door, Dad ran at the guy and knocked him down and they fought. They ended up in court.
Mom accused me of having an affair with her then-boyfriend (fabrication from her deep insecurity). I was 18.
Mom’s 2nd husband was verbally abusive to all of us and physically abusive, I later found out, to the boys. He told us he didn’t trust us.
Mom told us never to make her choose between us and her 2nd husband because she would choose her husband. And she did. Every time. Shane and I moved out, leaving our youngest brother there. I’ve only recovered from the guilt of leaving in the past few years.
Dad and his wife kicked me out of their house because I wouldn’t go to church with them. He still, to this day, considers me at fault because I defied him.
No one taught me about boundaries, self respect or that I actually had any value at all, in fact, they showed me the opposite. And that was reflected in the choices I made.
No one asked me how I was. I’m not sure they wanted to know.
It seems, Aunt J, that silence is our legacy. It’s a legacy of isolation, loneliness and a lack of connection and belonging, and in deep intergenerational pain.
Silence and shame.
There’s a whole lot more, Aunt J, so much more, and I hope that some day we can chat about it in a safe space. I’m sure you carry a whole lot of trauma too, and somehow you’ve been taught to protect and hide it.
I sure don’t want to keep carrying this silence and shame through another generation, I’m feeling it all, all of it, so that it stops, so it ends with our generation.
Love Shauna
So many people show up in community, carrying all that pain, but unwilling to share that load. I did, and still do sometimes. Fear and shame show up when we are triggered, when something new shows up, something our parents were afraid of, like change.
I’m human, I’m afraid sometimes too, but right now I’m more afraid of what the fear of change can do to us, rather than how much good radical vulnerability can bring.
Journalism is a construct - Part 2
Last week, I talked about a shift that is desperately needed in what folks have commonly known as ‘journalism’ and the ‘news’. I’m talking about the vocation that we’ve traditionally steeped with nobility and honour, that seeks truth and justice. And while I believe there has been tremendous work done by ‘journalists’ and I would take nothing away from their stories, mainstream ‘news’ has never been fair for everyone.
‘Journalism’ righteously defends and protects a ‘truth’. And there is an unspoken assumption that a ‘journalist’s’ dedication to get to the bottom of a story, to dig for the truth underneath the propaganda.
But whose truth?
As humans, we watch as folks risk their lives to get the ‘truth’.
They have become our moral compass, something that underpins our democracy.
But whose democracy? Whose rights?
As war plays out around the world, here in so-called Canada, Indigenous journalist Brandi Morin was charged with obstruction in Edmonton as she documented what she witnessed when police tore down an unhoused encampment.
For context, 80% of the folks in Edmonton encampments are Indigenous with 70% being women.
Brandi Morin is an award-winning Cree/Iroquois/French journalist from Treaty 6 territory in Alberta. For the last 10 years Brandi has specialized in sharing Indigenous stories, her work has appeared in publications and on networks including National Geographic, Al Jazeera English, the Guardian, CANADALAND, VICE, ELLE Canada, the Toronto Star, the New York Times, Huffpost, Indian Country Today Media Network, the Aboriginal Peoples Television Network National News, and CBC Indigenous.
“On January 10, Edmonton Police arrested award-winning Indigenous journalist Brandi Morin as she was reporting on a police raid on an Indigenous unhoused encampment. She identified herself as a journalist, and tried to explain that she could not comply with an order to leave the area as she was reporting on the situation. She was then manhandled, arrested and cuffed, held for five hours and charged with obstruction.” ~ Ricochet
Brandi is still fighting the charges. She’s appeared on a number of media outlets, and has international support.
It’s left me with questions about the profession I once subscribed to and felt a sense of belonging to, a group of folks trained to get to the truth. But that truth, in my case, has always been through my white lens of privilege, and when I was working in mainstream media, that white lens was almost entirely white men, especially the ones who decided which stories aired and which did not. It’s all been gnawing at me for a long time.
What is ‘journalism’? Are all ‘journalists’ treated the same? Brandi Morin has been covering the stories of Indigenous people in so-called Canada for over a decade, and this is the respect she gets? Whose stories get to be told?
For that matter, who ‘gets’ to be a journalist? Who has access to college or university training?
Brandi is sharing stories, not only telling them. She is in the story with the folks she is documenting. That is the way storytelling works, or should work. It’s a mutual respect.
White journalists have been trained to ‘steal’ stories, that it’s their (our) right to tell the story through their (our) own eyes.
But what has this caused? What has been missing from the stories? WHO has been missing from the stories and whose perspectives have been missing from the stories?What history has been missing from the stories?
More next time about the role of college and university programs in shifting to something new.
Always appreciate your thoughts with a reply.
More mainstream media layoffs - What does it mean for rural Canada?
By now you’ve heard about the close to 4800 job cuts by Bell Media. Unsurprisingly, after the announcement, Bell said it would hike its already substantial dividend by about 3 per cent to $3.99 a share, putting it among the highest payouts for a company traded on the TSX.
Meanwhile, local TV broadcasts were cut almost immediately, and the sale of 45 of its 105 radio stations, still meant a big hole in local radio news coverage.
I’m guessing many of you have already felt this.
The radio sales were in British Columbia, Ontario, Quebec and Atlantic Canada. The buyers are Vista Radio, Whiteoaks, Durham Radio, My Broadcasting Corp., ZoomerMedia, Arsenal Media and Maritime Broadcasting.
*The sales are subject to CRTC approval and other closing conditions.
While this could be good news for local programming, radio stations returning to local communities, it’s definitely NOT good news for what we have traditionally thought of as ‘journalism’ and the pursuit of that vocation.
In some cases, Bell had union representation, and decent wages. Can you expect the same from local stations? Will the current model of advertising keep live radio programming on the air, and the people delivering that content, paid a living wage?
The current model has proven it’s not ‘lucrative’. Are ‘legacy’ radio folks open to new ideas, fresh perspectives, and most importantly, a variety of faces, lenses and viewpoints?
There is so much room for change and a time for a monumental shift right now.
Hold on folks, things are happening swiftly in the universe!
Rural news roundup - February 13, 2024
International
Chair File: Advancing Health and Quality Care in Rural Communities
National
Fraser announces $176 million in housing deals with more than 60 rural communities
Facing a severe physician shortage, feds offer loan forgiveness for some doctors, nurses
British Columbia
Demand for free medical flights, accommodations skyrocketed 145% in B.C. last year, Hope Air says
B.C. regional chief decries 'fear mongering' over proposed changes to Land Act
Alberta
Advocate says rural Alberta's 2SLGBTQI+ youth most affected by new policies
Care delayed: Rural Alberta doctors buck literal big city roadblocks for patients
Rural southern Alberta community desperate for doctor shortage solution
Battling isolation and stigma, groups bring harm reduction to rural Alberta
Saskatchewan
La Loche dog rescue effort highlights crisis in rural Saskatchewan
New equipment helping to expand STARS' capabilities in rural areas
Manitoba
RCMP news conference discusses multiple homicides in rural Manitoba
Mother of sons with autism says respite, other specialized services lacking in rural Manitoba
Ontario
Stalled affordable housing project example of need for better provincial support
Northern-centric solutions needed to address vet shortage: researcher
Quebec
Mild winter weather forces city in Quebec to cancel ice-fishing villages for first time
New Brunswick
Rustic paradise 40 minutes from Saint John not rural enough for extra carbon rebate
Nova Scotia
Rural Nova Scotia residents say province’s plow tracker tool gone downhill
'Keeping us on the road': Halifax increases its funding for rural transit for first time in 10 years
Housing, food insecurity are rural problems, too. Grassroots groups in N.S. are stepping up.
PEI
Road and street cleanup still chugging along after major P.E.I. storm
Belfast development group nixes housing proposal over community concerns
Newfoundland and Labrador
Province announces new measures to address child care challenges in rural N.L.
Territories (Northwest, Nunvut, Yukon)
Three charged in Yellowknife ‘dial-a-dope’ investigation
No apology from NWT premier as Supreme Court upholds Indigenous childcare law
Mining company partners with Redfish Arts Society to train young welders
Ottawa dismisses Yukon First Nation's concerns regarding Mount Nansen mine clean up
With no dentist in town, Yukon man desperately tries a DIY fix — using pliers
Recommendations for Black History Month
Movies
During the pandemic, my partner and I likely did the most unlearning and healing (but that journey is ongoing). Here’s a list of must-see stories on Netflix.
When They See Us, The Death and Life of Marsha P. Johnson, 13th, Barry and Trial 4 are all powerful films.
Deconstructing Karen - I urge (especially) rural white women to watch this 90 min show and if you do, let me know what you think. I saw myself in this and am always learning and unlearning, leaning in to humility and vulnerability.
(The first book below goes along with this film)
Books
How to Be an Antiracist by Ibram X. Kendi
So You Want to Talk About Race by Ijeoma Oluo
*If you’d like a topic covered, or you’d like to facilitate a conversation utilizing the Clearing a New Path podcast platform, please connect with me by hitting reply or by emailing shauna@radarmedia.co
Your feedback is always welcome.